Durama~

im not sure why,

but this thing's becoming more and more uncontrollable

i tried not to give a darn thing about being in a relationship.

in fact i have not the slightest worry in my head

that i might be single for the rest of my life

( not happy tho but not worried )

it's true when people said

"jodoh di tanganTuhan etc."

and i really do hold on to that,

since i'm not looking and people aren't really have any interest in me too.

.......

but it became a burden ,

when you actually hit 21

and people started to ask you questions,

on whether or not you will ever have a partner to accompany you

for the rest of your itsy bitsy life.

I'm telling you this,

it's not because i like the same sex

that i have no interest in the opposite sex.

it's not because i have an oh-so-dramatic-experience in the past

that i have no interest in having a love life.

it's not because im having fun right now,

that i have no whatsoever interest in having a person tied on my back.

it's not what you normal people think

that i am still a single person that i am today

without having any relationship whatsoever for the past 21 years of my life.

the thing is,

i don't see the rush in having this kind of a thing in my life.

i'm okay with people rushing to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend

while they are still in their teen/younger years.

i'm not one of them,

for me love can come whenever or whatever time

be it 30-ish or 40-ish or maybe much more older

i don't mind.

So now i keep on wondering,

why people kept on asking me,

day by day

"aren't you worried?"

"kalau jadi andartu macamane?"

"ish nanti tue tak ade orang nak!"

why?

i've never asked for any pity nor asked anyone to be worried

even my parents aren't

(well not yet im sure)

who knows maybe tomorrow i'll have someone,

maybe in 2 more years,

maybe 3? 4? 5?

mabye 10 or 20 more years.

who knows right?

i can still do a lot of things while waiting,

riding bikes in japan for example =)

(true that's my goal)

I'm confused now..

You want me to be happy with the one i love,

to be forever with the one i've chosen,

to have a strong relationship with whom i am to marry.

so...

who is this person,

whom you're forcing me to marry?

who is this person,

whom i am forced to love?

who is this person,

a stranger whom i have not possibly known in my life?

is it a curse?

being 21 and still single?

"This is for your own good"

"This is all for your own happiness"

will this make me happy?

why must other people make decisions,

to make other people's life more....

happy?

this is my life

i have my own right to lead my life in whatever way i want

why can't people respect that?

need to teach ah?

life can be such a drama some times..