ranting weren't fun
but i want to make this really short

I HATE BEING COMPARED!
what so good about comparing people ?
ths is so sad
im just being myself
being individualisme

I NEVER LIKE PEOPLE WHO NEVER LISTEN TO MY OPINION!
so you think you have the world best idea ever?
you might wrong!
so stop bitching your idea all the way
why not listen to mine?

IM SO SICK OF IT!
im being to optimistic which makes me feel so sick of it

i hate being at home
im sick of all these argument
which makes me almost breakdown and just cry like a baby!!!
i skipped most of the time listening to my songs with headphone
i dont feel like listening things around me ...
which makes me feel more sad n sad
i purposely wanted to fight back everything..
i dont wanna lose to you
i hate being monitored on ,
on how many hours i spent on lappie
what time i should sleep
what time should i eat
what should i eat
what time to come back home
what you wanted me to study
what songs i listen
what tv show should i watch
what songs i hafta listen
when im going to cut my hair
for query the existance of god or spirit
why i watch anime
why i download so many movies
where to follow you
who being right or wrong
what im doing at home
number of time i colour my hair
what colour i dyed
reason why im not open up with you guys at home
time allocate to finish my assg
etc..

this really makes me sick

im the meanie at home
because i've to act so
I WILL NEVER SHED A TEAR BECAUSE I SHOULDN'T
and they're expensive to be shed

i've held back my tears till i forgot
how to cry sometimes
tears make people looks like weakling !

Aiyer~

wow i rant a lot nowadays =D"
oh well
new rant! XD

i just can't stop ranting about my ol friends tho,
since they've suddenly become a biatch that
i myself am not sure why and how some people can tahan..

first i was dumped after 2-3 hours of waiting for their sorry arses,
now, i being dumped in a middle of reunion???

i mean like,
bringing your boyfriends, your buchuk2, your hubby2, your papa2
(yes they call themselves as papa n mama gehk)
to a bloody class reunion???
what in the name of donkey arses were u guys thinking??
wanna show off yr lovey dovey lovers ah?

at first yah, i'm somewhat okay with them bringing their lovers
but just meeting for 30mins,
the fecking fuglies boyfriendzz suddenly wanna go dating
and have their lovey dovey time togethar~in private~

.....

1. DO NOT COME TO A GALZ DAY OUT IF YOU WANNA GO DATING DATING
2. DO NOT BRING UR FUGLY BOYFRENDZ TO A GALZ ONLY REUNION
3. DO NOT GO ALL LOVEY DOVEY IN FRONT OF ME LIKE IM A STATUE
4. DO NOT SMOOCHY SMOOCHY IN FRONT OF ME WHEN U GUYS ARE DARN-FECKING MALAYYYS!!!!!

it's darn embarrasing!!
the chinese and indian friends didnt even bring their boyfriends
and acting like that in front of them is....
seriously makin me wanna go and tampar the hell off them

Im okay if the boyfriends are like chatting with everyone
get to know everyone etc.
but this type are those who didn't even give a shit of who you are,
and just sit there and hugging the gf etc.
not giving the girl a chance to talk to us at all

fecked up reunion was fecked up
and im really furious with them
i did tell them tho

but they sayang~ their papa too much

dood,
i'm not saying ya should break up with the guy or nething
or not to bring yer papa or nething,
i just want ya guys to be a lil more respectful la,
it was suppose to be a reunion,
not one of yer date days.

-_-

that oso susah to masuk kepala ah

Durama~

im not sure why,

but this thing's becoming more and more uncontrollable

i tried not to give a darn thing about being in a relationship.

in fact i have not the slightest worry in my head

that i might be single for the rest of my life

( not happy tho but not worried )

it's true when people said

"jodoh di tanganTuhan etc."

and i really do hold on to that,

since i'm not looking and people aren't really have any interest in me too.

.......

but it became a burden ,

when you actually hit 21

and people started to ask you questions,

on whether or not you will ever have a partner to accompany you

for the rest of your itsy bitsy life.

I'm telling you this,

it's not because i like the same sex

that i have no interest in the opposite sex.

it's not because i have an oh-so-dramatic-experience in the past

that i have no interest in having a love life.

it's not because im having fun right now,

that i have no whatsoever interest in having a person tied on my back.

it's not what you normal people think

that i am still a single person that i am today

without having any relationship whatsoever for the past 21 years of my life.

the thing is,

i don't see the rush in having this kind of a thing in my life.

i'm okay with people rushing to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend

while they are still in their teen/younger years.

i'm not one of them,

for me love can come whenever or whatever time

be it 30-ish or 40-ish or maybe much more older

i don't mind.

So now i keep on wondering,

why people kept on asking me,

day by day

"aren't you worried?"

"kalau jadi andartu macamane?"

"ish nanti tue tak ade orang nak!"

why?

i've never asked for any pity nor asked anyone to be worried

even my parents aren't

(well not yet im sure)

who knows maybe tomorrow i'll have someone,

maybe in 2 more years,

maybe 3? 4? 5?

mabye 10 or 20 more years.

who knows right?

i can still do a lot of things while waiting,

riding bikes in japan for example =)

(true that's my goal)

I'm confused now..

You want me to be happy with the one i love,

to be forever with the one i've chosen,

to have a strong relationship with whom i am to marry.

so...

who is this person,

whom you're forcing me to marry?

who is this person,

whom i am forced to love?

who is this person,

a stranger whom i have not possibly known in my life?

is it a curse?

being 21 and still single?

"This is for your own good"

"This is all for your own happiness"

will this make me happy?

why must other people make decisions,

to make other people's life more....

happy?

this is my life

i have my own right to lead my life in whatever way i want

why can't people respect that?

need to teach ah?

life can be such a drama some times..